YOU.

You. Yes, you. I am writing this for you...

I know you're reading this. And I want you to know that I am writing this for you. No one else will understand. No one else knows. They think that this might be for them. But it’s not. I'm writing this for you.

I want you to know, life…is hard. Every day can be a challenge. It's a challenge to get up in the morning. To get yourself out of bed. To put on that smile. But I want you to know, that smile is what keeps me going some days. You need to remember, even through the tough times, you are amazing. You really are.

You should be happy. You're gorgeous, inside and out.

I know the weather might not be perfect. You might have to turn your back to the wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose. But you know what, at least you are there to feel it. At least you can enjoy the sun’s warmth on your face. Or that cold February wind biting at your cheeks. You know what that means?

You're alive.

And everything will be okay.

To the Friend I Met Along the Way

Hello foreigner,
I see you've lost your way.
With all that dust on your shoes,
they'll never last 'til day.
It's okay...
Just sit right here,
My post is near...
My name...is Simon Jay.

The sky is clear; I'll lend an ear to auctioneer.
This solar year's no souvenir,
We volunteer for world premiers like it's our career.
A celestial sphere's black marketeer causes eyes to burn and paint to smear.

Let's tuck away the silver gray.
It's commencement day,
now papier-mache.
The solar array just whittles away,
I see the sun,
I see you bow,
And I see you pray...

My thoughts sashay,
I feel okay.
I made a friend that I didn't intend.
So now I'll defend him,
Loose ends won't demean him.

It's over textured.
I'm feathered red bird.
You and I made this land our open headboard.
The stars are our shepherd.
I thank God wisdom can't be measured.
With you, times are treasured,
I'll weep when friendship gets severed...

We're moving westward,
Smooth relations now tethered...
The sheltered pup's left out to weather...

But I'll be here,
Always to lend an ear.
No matter if the sky is clear,
Or the clouds are smeared,
THIS musketeer will be here.

So always remember that my place is near.

Yours Truly,
Ginger Dear...

What We All Had...

Peacock colors on oversized sunglasses.
Putting designed band-aids where there is no scab.
Matching shirts even when it's not twin day.
Making your business mine, and mine yours.
Sneaking out, even though no one is there to catch us.
Watching movies over and over to apply them to our own lives.
Living life like its a musical and this is our last preformance.
Never really listening to what the other says.
Giving advice when it's not needed.
Painting our faces for no reason.
Talking about the TV show we would never have.
Giving ourselfs chocolate face moles.
Forking yards.
Rolling down ji-norm-ous hills on the side of the road marked "no parking".
"Lets just swim in our cloths"
"I want to be Domino"
"I want to be Jude"
"K then I'm Amadine"

And that's how it was.
As far as we were concerned...that's how is would stay...

But it didn't.

It's like it happened out of nowhere.
As if waking up and missing 8 years of your life and trying to catch up in 30 seconds.

And no one knows how.

And no one can.

And the distance is too long.

Even though one is down the road.

Elenor Rigby died and was burried along with her name...and no body came.

A Rainy Day...

It's these days that smell of peace and look of guilt that keep us indoors to settle and think.

Think.
But not too much.

Think.
But not too hard.

That's what I tell myself as my mind wanders along the gravel road in memory county, where your lost pets come back and your lost friends are always there.

Family, dead and gone, come and greet you as the dust from your shoes and theirs mat together like they've been there all along.

Hands shake and smiles break along with laughter heard for miles.

"Mom's doing fine, yeah the baby's fine, yes yes, you too"

Small, typical conversation becomes a dream with the hazey mist.

You'd think you would have better things to talk about,
better things to say,
better stories to tell.

But the words never come.
And time never lasts.

When the conversation is closed you go straight to your mistakes.

"Man why did I do that?...how could she?...I'll never forget....Me too?"

The clouds roll as thunder screams inbetween your thoughts.

The silence is so loud you can't think.
The silence is so loud you can't hear.
The silence is so loud you can't sleep.

But you laugh.
But you cry.
But you cover up and try to distract yourself.
But you think about reading.
But you keep breathing.
And so you live.

The storm calms and the sky breaks.
And you realize....
Yeah, I have made mistakes...

But this is a new day.

I've thought,
I've cried,
I've mourned,
I've weeped,

But THOSE aren't the memories i want to keep.

Because...this is a new day.

This smile is new.

Rainy days are good to think.
Rainy days are good to repair.

But when the rain stops...
Enjoy the sunshine of the times.

And just save the sad...
For the next rainy day.

Let me talk....

Today:

i want to dance.
or sing.
or something.

Go outside and laugh at the sky while i take pictures of meaningless objects.
Putting feeling behind the picture and making you see the importance in it.

i want to take something of no value and make it gold.
i want to recieve a letter.

i want to smell the earth and not care.
or make a fool of myself and get everybody to join in.

lets ride the eraser and forget time.
lets turn up the volume of the silence.
lets push the buttons in which we always wanted to know what they would do.
lets be as important as we really are.
lets all hold hands and shuffle our feet on the carpet and shock our cars back.
lets peel an orange and call it green.
lets pick the grass and put it in a vase.

what if we took the normal things in life and did them backwards?
would this messed up world fall into place again?
would things go "back to normal"?
they're not normal now.
are they?

why are kids getting married?
why are kids having kids?
why are kids walking all over their parents?
why is the government providing everything these people need while hard working ones have to sacrifice everything for gas and food?

hummm????

why are the prisions so full?
why do people laugh when a child cusses?
why has our fun evolved into harmful actions?
why do people "need" drugs to "stay on the right track"?

well????

why are more and more mothers having to take up the role that a father should be playing?
why has stealing become acceptable depending on the object stolen?
why is everyone using the tallent God gave them for, not only their own benefit, but to do all but parise The Giver?
why are more and more children being raped?

can you tell me????

why are the homeless multiplying?
the bars filling?
the streets dangerous?
the brother untrusted?

do you know anything at all????

THIS WORLD IS BACKWARDS!

there are no morals.
no rules.
no love.
NO TRUE HAPPINESS.

GOD IS LOVE,
HAPPINESS,
TRUST,
JOY,
PEACE.

and ALL THINGS GOOD come from Him!!!

GEEBS PEOPLE....GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEAD!!!

you would think im in a terrible mood!!
I'M HAVING AN AMAZING DAY!
i woke up thinking there was no way i would make it through the day...
but GOD gave me a double portion of energy!!!!

HE IS AMAZING!

The Black Dog In My Life

Naive innocence. Lately, this seems to be the nicest way to say that I've been acting like I only own half a brain.

Naive: having or showing unaffected simplicity of nature or absence of artificiality; unsophisticated; ingenuous. (Source: WWW.dictionary.reference.com)

Innocence: lack of knowledge or understanding. (Source: WWW.dictionary.reference.com)

My pup, Pebbles, is where my thoughts turn to when I try to compare something physical to the term. She was born the runt ugly duckling; she was the last left in the "For Sale" box; yet, she has never known the difference. When you look at her horrifyingly charming face, you become overwhelmed with pity for this defective creature. Considered "societies child" by human nature, she flogs our emotions with stereotypical thoughts. "Oh, the poor thing." "Bless it's heart." "I wonder how that happened."

A mother's love can overcome any label society can stick to us. When I passed that box that put a price on pity, I bent a little. My shell displayed a fresh new crack. She was the poster pup for naive innocence. She had love written on her simple face. People walked by mocking her dim-witted face. Children said icky things and made icky faces. She didn't know the difference; maybe she didn't care.

I loved her. She advertised this side of me that I was too cheap to boast about.

However, being as delightful as she, can be as much a disservice as it can be commendation. She doesn't know any better. She tends to attract the most disgusting friendships in the neighbor hood. One, in particular, is this massive repulsing black dog. Being a good three times the size of Pebbles, this bolder of a dog looks outrageously revolting just being next to one her size. This creature, that has knobby stilts for support, seems to show up no matter our preventive maintenance. It's thick, diseased matted neck rotates in slow motion.

Pebbles glances at this abnormal varmint just as she would the prize winning shih tzu. Whether she is stubborn in the "don't judge a book by it's cover" philosophy, or too ignorant to see the end, she somehow professionally seeks to approve this red flag creature. This is the deadly love spell that she cannot shake off.

We could rationalize her decisions all day saying that she is trying to make up for the rejection she felt in her younger days. However, in the end...this seemingly insignificant cataclysmic event could lead to her death.

The most terrorizing thing about the world in this era is the outward disguise it portrays. Generations are now having to raise their kids on the "EX" factor.

Expel:

1.	to drive or force out or away; discharge or eject.

2.	to cut off from membership or relations

Exterminate: to get rid of by destroying; destroy totally;

Exempt: released from, or not subject to, an obligation, liability, etc.

Exile: prolonged separation from one's home, as by force of circumstances

Exclude: to shut out from consideration, privilege, etc.

Whether it starts this way, or ends this way, we "EX ourselves from the companionship of others. (friends, significant others, all types of relatives, marriage, and sometimes...even ourselves and our own feelings.)

Statistics on the subject:

• In 2009 alone, it is estimated that 45% - 50% of first marriages end in divorce in the U.S.
  
• 60% - 67% of SECOND marriages end in divorce in the U.S.
• 73% - 74% of THIRD marriages end in divorce in the U.S.

My mouth fills with cotton when I stream my eyes across these figures that magnify our mistakes.

I seem to be going head to head with my naive innocence and my crutch, the "Ex" factor. Keeping me sane, is the knowledge that I am not the only one.

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Tips from the wise:

"Make no friendships with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, or you will learn his ways and find a snare for yourself." Proverbs 22:24-25

"If you find honey, eat just enough, too much of it and you will vomit." Proverbs 25:16

"Better is open rebuke than love that it concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy." Proverbs 27:5-6